Funny Clash of Clans Requests

Sometimes, these troop requests are as simple as stating the obvious; (so sorry, but they're all going to die). But more often than not, there's a new and interesting tidbit that sheds light on the imaginary lives of the troops we request in game.

These are a few funny Clash of Clans troop requests, posted as 'Fun Facts' in game. They're posted with the caveat: if you're gonna use a fun fact, you get whatever folks donate. Feel free to use them for your own troop requests, or come up with your own! Begging for troops to kill might as well be fun.

It's a list that's sure to grow, so stay tuned!

Funny Clash of Clans Requests

  1. Sound proofing your clan castle will help to ensure their little screams don't keep you awake all night.
  2. Basically, I'm going to drop them off at a stranger's place, and hope for the best.
  3. Golems aren't very bright because they have rocks for brains.
  4. Giants sometimes use the sides of gold storages to scratch themselves in hard to reach places.
  5. They probably aren't going to make it.
  6. Cannon ammo is made from the shrunken heads of goblins.
  7. The skulls on top of level 8 walls are pried from the helmets of long-dead barbarians.
  8. Hitting on the archers may result in taking an arrow in the knee.
  9. Every time a villager claps at a shrubbery, a gem gets its gleams.
  10. Dragons are trained at birth to drop it like it's hot.
  11. Dragons and Minions land the moment you log off.
  12. Villagers have yet to discover that trees, bushes, and stumps are terrible hiding places for their valuable gems.
  13. Gold coins are made from the melted teeth of dead goblins.
  14. Elixir tastes just like grape kool-aid.
  15. Dark Elixir is so expensive because minions use it to get high.
  16. Wallbreakers are well trained to avoid unintentional detonation around army camp fires.
  17. Hidden Teslas are powered by giant underground hamster wheels that are manned by Hog Riders in training.
  18. Giant bombs are named for the explosive agent used to make them; compressed giant flatulence.
  19. The Barbarian King will always be single, mostly because he sleeps on a rock surrounded by bones.
  20. Wizard's atop towers frequently 'go commando' which is why villagers are seldom seen clapping at them.
  21. Mixing regular elixir with dark elixir results in a completely useless substance known as mediocre elixir.
  22. Defensive buildings can't attack whilst being upgraded because they're too busy getting hammered.
  23. Valkyrie's obvious consternation comes from the fact that she loved being a lumberjack before she got drafted.
  24. Air Bombs are kept aloft with specially treated Mylar balloons, each of which contain exactly one dragon's breath.
  25. Skeletons carry bombs as wallbreakers because Giants would make a huge mess.
  26. Skeleton traps are the closets of Witches, the contents of which are spilling out after copious amounts of booze.
  27. Upon reaching manhood, each aspiring hog rider must live in the forest until he finds his own wild hog to ride.
  28. Villagers enter a hidden bunker that lies below their TH the moment they're attacked.
  29. Taking a swig of a jump spell makes it impossible to sit or stand still.
  30. Clan Castle capacity is determined by the number of ale taps available at the clan castle bar.
  31. Lightning spells are shockingly delicious.
  32. Archers dye their hair with elixir, the amount of which is included in training costs.
  33. Trophies are made from melted Goblin teeth.
  34. The spell factory must be scrubbed clean with goblin toothbrushes after every use.
  35. The last ones haven't called, and I'm starting to get a little worried.*
  36. Gold mines tap vast underground reserves that are constantly replenished by proceeds from 'Next' buttons.
  37. Clan Wars began over a minor disagreement between two hog riders over the exact taste of bacon.
  38. Donating troops is basically sending them on a one-way trip to oblivion.
  39. They're attending try-outs for the coveted role of 'village defense target'.
  40. They still feel bad for that one time, when they had to destroy Liam Neeson's village.
  41. Goblins love gold more than a wizard loves his goatee.
  42. Any villager caught not wearing the same dress is exiled to the woods.
  43. Barbarians and archers are no longer on speaking terms...
  44. It's kind of ironic, but none of your troops even know what a mobile device is.
  45. Your troops only real job is to take a cannonball to the face.
  46. Lava Hounds can only give birth in extreme battleground scenarios.
  47. Lava Hounds are truly terrible mothers.

*Submitted by Aureus Family Members for Inclusion.

More coming soon!